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There was once a man with several children, an ill wife and a dying mother. Let’s call him Sam. Sam happened to be in severe debt, so decided to get himself out of it. So he decided to make a budget. He wanted to cut expenses depending on the condition of each of his family members:

The youngest of the man’s sons, a bright young boy who was excellent in school, was kept at home and not allowed to have a proper education. Sam thought that providing a secondary education to his son at a public school was too expensive and not priority anymore. So the boy was left to stay at home.

Another one of Sam’s sons was a graduate student who was working in a lab to cure a devastating illness, but with his shrinking stipend, this young man could not make ends meet in the high cost of living, high inflation in the city this man lived in. Sam decided not to help out this son anymore either. This son didn’t cost much to Sam’s budget, but Sam never liked this son much anyway, the know-it-all!

One of Sam’s daughters was unemployed, a single mom and homeless. She got laid off, then her husband cheated and divorced her and was never to be seen again. Sam thought her daughter was too much of a burden so decided to stop sending her money also.

Sam’s wife and mother’s medicine cost too much. So Sam stopped paying for those and the doctor’s bills.

Sam stopped giving money to two of his sons, his wife and mother who all were at his mercy for their survival.

However, Sam did not decide to cut any money he was giving to two of his other sons.

One was an investment banker, who promised to insure his friends in the case of a health emergency in exchange for a little moolah every month. But he made this promise to dozens of his friends, while all the time blowing away his money on Caribbean cruises and fancy sports cars. When most of his friends and the investment banker himself fell sick because of a new bug that had been going around, the investment banker had to cough up the money for himself and his friends. Of course he didn’t have any money and so got sued by his friends and declared bankruptcy. But his dad, Sam, got him out of this mess – only for the investment banker guy to resume his spending habits within a year.

Sam had a soft spot for his investment banker son – after all he was a big businessman.

The other son Sam had a soft spot for was a 6ft 5in, 300lb bodybuilder. This guy would protect the family, but also liked to pick fights. Sam gave him a LOT of money to keep his family safe. For about 8 years, Sam had paid his son about half of his income to go to the house down the street to confiscate the possessions of the family that lived there. Sam mistakenly thought that the family down the street had weapons that they could use to hurt Sam’s own family… for … some reason…. So his bodybuilder son used to virtually stay at the other people’s home and made sure they did nothing violent with their imaginary weapons. 8 years of giving his son this money put Sam into a lot of debt also.

 Sam thought he would continue to pay his banker and bodybuilder sons, because they were his pride. In the meanwhile, Sams other two sons, his daughter, wife and mother all either died, became comatose or became doormats for Sam, the banker son and the bodybuilder son.

But Sam didn’t care. He was a proud father. A proud, cocky father indeed.

If you still didn’t get it – you’ve probably been living under a rock for the last 5 years. If you think Sam is a good father, then you probably should be forcibly sterilized and not allowed to reproduce.